74 Ethelbert (as in Humperdink)
Saturday the something or other of May
How would you like to be called “Fat-Lip-Ern”? Any more “Everton who” letters and I’ll dispatch a quick gob full of fist at yer.
I’ve just thrown half a loaf out for the dickies and spent 10 minutes trying to catch a fly in the kitchen, the crafty swine landed on my nose so’s I couldn’t belt him, I could use a spray but it’s not sportsmanlike, I’ll stun him with a dish cloth then break his legs and give him a karate chop behind the ear.
We went away for a long weekend last week, it was a holiday for Victoria Day (Empire Day). We went to “Riding Mountain National Park”, it’s a fabulous place about 180 miles from “the Peg”, there’s a big lake called Clear Lake and it’s a deep blue and green, you’d enjoy the fishing there Ern, you should have seen us on the trail side, I used all my horse riding skill I learned at Butlins but the horse hadn’t had the same tutor and he bolted, boy you should have seen me doing my trick riding, one foot out of the stirrup, then two out, after about 5 trips around the corral the horse brought me under control and we set off down the trail, it seems the reason the horse went mad was they’d left a chain in his mouth and when I pulled the rein he didn’t like it. Mo’s still recovering from sore ankles, knees and skinned behind, we were riding for two hours.
We’re having a mixture of weather here at the moment, we’ve had rain, hail and sunshine all in one day, the temperature is dodging around the 65 mark, in a couple of weeks we should be getting around 78.
The day I got your letter I also got one from home telling us they’d moved in and sorted themselves out.
I hope you get fixed up too cos with the boys growing up you’ll need a bigger place.
Hey Ern did you tell me you’d fixed up your record player or was it someone else? If yours is working I’ve seen a record that you’ll enjoy, no charge of course.
I see that you’ve been watching Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-in. It’s the top show here.
NEWSFLASH! FAST FLICK FATALLY FLOGS FLY
Guess what! A small item in the Free Press the other day was about a schoolteacher in Birkenhead who wants sex education for 5-year-olds, we get quite a lot of fill-ups about things going on in the “old country.” They should be putting something in about 10 Leopold being demolished soon.
Well we’re off to see if we can get a game of golf in on the miniature now so I’ll write again after.
Well we managed to get two games in yesterday, one on the miniature and one on the crazy course, you’d enjoy the crazy course Ern, it has all kinds of hazards, water, swinging pole, opening and closing doors, it’s a par 44 and my best up to now is 42, on the miniature it’s a 9 hole and not half as good as the one in New Brighton, yesterday while we were on there a young couple came on pulling golf carts loaded with clubs, they don’t care how stupid they look here.
Do you have “Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf” on TV? Next Friday they’re playing at the Charleswood Golf Club in Winnipeg. I wouldn’t mind seeing them play but I don’t fancy losing a day’s pay. Things have brightened in the trade now, the slump we had through December/February is over and I’ve even done a bit of OT.
Today’s temperature is going up to 70 so I reckon we’ll get a spot of sunbathing in, we bought a couple of reclining beach chairs last week so we don’t have to mess about putting towels on the ground etc.
So how are things with your mob? How is Peg, Paul, Chris, Beryl, Elsie, your Mum, Reg and all the kiddiewinkies?
Have you heard from Benito lately?
It’s a shame about Ernie Hughes, he used to be so jovial. Have you seen anything of Tommy Smith? I’m wondering how he’s getting along with Dot after their troubles a while ago.
I went for a haircut on Thursday and had a belter, at $2 a go (16/-) I always have my head very near shaved, I’d left it so long since the last one I was looking like Tiny Tim.
Mo was bugging me for answering your letter so soon, she said you’d be obligated again but after a slap in the mouth she saw it my way, but don’t worry about the time between letters Ern, I just like to hear from you whenever you can.
Well it’s time to have a shave and a shower and get ready to make a new record score on the golf course.
There’s a big fat robin outside the window, it’s about the size of a mickey.
So anyroadup, look after your turgid selves and give our regards to anyone we know and tell them to keep taking the tablets.
Mo & Hal
I should have some photos to send you in a couple or three weeks.
[The bit about slapping my mum is a "joke"]